Monthly Archives: March 2013

The hierarchy of traffic: An observation

Just in case you ever need to venture out into the Vancouver traffic, there are a few vital nuggets of information that you need to know:

1. There are some roads that you cross using a white pedestrian crossing light. Some using flashing green traffic lights. And some where you walk out into the road with your eyes closed and hope the cars on what appears to be a dual carriageway see you in time.
2. You think you’re safe on the pavement? Wrong. The buses can get you there. And will loudly beep their horn if they think you’re within a metre of the kerb in case they hit you with their bits of sticking out metal. If you think it doesn’t happen, talk to the bin on Granville Street which was minding its own business when a bus completely took it out. It’s never been the same since.
3. If you’re in a car, good luck getting anywhere. You’re bottom of the food chain. Yep, behind pedestrians, animals and….yes…cyclists! (I know!)
4. As an extension of this, if you are a pedestrian crossing a road at the appropriate time (see point 1) and a car tries to nudge you out of the way, the appropriate response is to pointedly look up at your legitimate crossing light. And walk slower.
5. Finally, if circumstances dictate that you need to board a bus, look carefully into the eyes of the bus driver. If you see manic laughter in their eyes, make sure you get a seat and anchor yourself down quickly. These types think an emergency stop is gentle braking, and they’re not afraid to use it.

Now, these tips may save your life one day, so it’s important to read them carefully. Or you could do what I do – ignore the traffic conventions and fly!

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Categories: Duck's soapbox, Vancouver | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The pressure to blog….

Awake in the night….

Wings sweating, stuffing beating rapidly…

The pressure to blog has arrived.

I find it hard to describe fully what the pressure to blog feels like, but I liken it to when I put off doing washing until I’m down to the very last skin pair of pants. Or when I just have to finish on internet banking when the laptop is dying and the charger is all the way over the other side of the room. Not to worry, you don’t need to rely on my terrible descriptions to gain a better understanding of the emotional torment that is misery blogging. The time continuum chart of pleasure-guilt of blogging has been closely and scientifically studied by me researchers around the world and they have come up with something a little like this:

Very scientific research done by scientists

Very scientific research done by scientists

Now, people may consider the impact and implications of this highly scientific chart and wonder why on earth one would get into this vicious blogging world, and that would be a very good question. The pressure to blog can come from many sources, internal and external, and these can build and build to a crippling point of no return. The point where every great idea you’ve noted down for the past three months suddenly looks like something from the National Enquirer recycle bin. The point where every sentence you write is deleted ten times before settling on one that just doesn’t sound quite right. And the point where you delay putting finger to keyboard or pen to paper day after day, waiting for that ‘inspiration’ that’s definitely going to come tomorrow…right?!

Wrong.

What I have discovered over the last 6 weeks is that you can’t just wait for inspiration to come if you’re going to ride the wild ride that is blogging. There will be natural peaks and troughs in both inspiration and motivation that you have to learn to manage – though probably not control – so you’re not MIA for weeks on end. Obviously, there will be those times when you just-have-to-write-that-down-and-share-it-with-the-world, but there will also be the quieter times, times when you can spend a little longer thinking and crafting a post that might start out crap less inspired than the others, but may evolve into one of the most insightful things you have ever written.

The point is – if you don’t actually write it down, you’ll never know….

….See you in 6 weeks….. 😉

Categories: Duck | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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