Mr Creosote comes to China Palace

The difference between ‘eat all you like’ and ‘all you can eat’ may only be one word but the meaning is so much deeper. Case in point, watching Chris work his way through a menu in a Chinese restaurant, ‘sampling’ (polishing off!) most of the menu. His mentality was different even to the above definitions – he was going for ‘eat as much as you can’ which, on witnessing it, I can say was a hugely disgusting task. As he threw another piece of crispy shredded beef into his waiting mouth and half chewed it, even the staff were beginning to notice his perseverance. The waitress tried to take it away before it was finished for his own good and almost had her arm bitten off too. He spooned in some special fried rice straight from the bowl, bypassing the plate, lazily dabbing at flecks of an unrecognisable sauce that had splattered his face Pollock style. He looked tortured as he finished off the special rice and turned to face the egg fried rice leftovers, upending the bowl into his plate with some style and effort. By now, he was eating with his fingers, face close to the plate so it was less effort to make the long journey to his half-open mouth. Hair covered in bits of rice, he finished off the last of the beef with a sigh of accomplishment, not satisfaction. It was more about the challenge than satiating any hunger, that had long passed. He proceeded to ask for a tap water three times and finished his long meal by chomping on the ice and massaging his swollen digestive system while moaning quietly.

But it’s ok because he didn’t have any crispy duck pancakes.

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